Greetings! I spent Christmas in New England, eating all the fishes and not checking my email. It was quite lovely, ignoring my responsibilities so thoroughly, although now that I'm back my to-do list is kind of overwhelming. I'm pretty consistently barely hanging onto this real job/ activist shit / food blog / community thing I'm doing, and it piles up quickly when I take five days off. No words shall be said about the state of my other adult responsibilities, like laundry and budgeting and cleaning my room.

Also, one of our ducks broke her toenail.. and another one might have bumblefoot? It's been a bad couple days for duck feet. Here's Pearl, hanging out in a warm water and saline soak prior to toenail-bandaging. Luckily for me, my farmwife is a pretty prepared duck-nurse.

Happy New Year!

Weekly Waterfowl (16!)
TBT, like, six months. But duck butts!!

I'm not sure how to feel about using TBT correctly. This feels like a betrayal of my cranky-old-man luddite status. On the other hand, this week I learned how to turn the lights on inside my car for the first time, and I got the car in June, so maybe I'm not in that much danger.

Weekly Waterfowl (14!)
So on Sunday, my farmwife and I spent the afternoon installing an automatic door on the duck's house. Monday, the ducks spent the entire day inside the house because they are afraid of the door. 

I have the dumbest pets.

(There are no waterfowl in this photo because there were no waterfowl outdoors to be photographed all of yesterday. Maybe if people leave comments telling my stupid dumb pets they are disappointed, the ducks will come outside?)
Weekly Waterfowl (13!)
Things I learned this week:
  • I am very grateful mud isn't a consistent problem around here
  • When a Tinder date asks what you did this weekend, 'shoveling duck poop' is not a very good answer. You should probably invent something less gross.
Last week we cleaned out the duck coop for winter, which was unsurprisingly disgusting (it involved literal shoveling of shit). We also made a giant mud puddle while hosing everything down, and the ducks discovered it, and well....

All hail Utah's pathetic yearly rainfall, for this is a rare occurrence.

Weekly Waterfowl (12!)
Weirdo duck looks like a deformed dinosaur. 

Happy Friday, everyone.

Also, if you live in Salt Lake City, our congressman Chris Stewart just voted against aid for Puerto Rico. Time to leave him angry messages and demand he explain himself.

DC: 202-225-9730

SCL: 801-364-5551
St. George: 435-627-1500

Your Weekly Waterfowl (11!)

This is a rough week in America, which is a sentence I've found myself saying more frequently than is perhaps reasonable. Please take care of yourselves, and then call your representatives. Mine are counting their NRA money while praying, but yours might be more useful.

Also, for anyone who hasn't read it, this is a great primer on American gun violence.
Your Weekly Waterfowl (9!)
Hello! It's been a week- I had guests, and then we had to rally in opposition to actual Nazis (because apparently that's a thing we have to do now) and then I had more guests. I went to Idaho to see the eclipse, which was awesome and totally made up for the 12-hour traffic jam we hit on the way home. I wasn't driving though, so I probably can't make that call. Also, thanks again guys! You were champs.

So I haven't been writing about food- partially because I've been busy, and partially because it feels inappropriate to do so when this week's news is our president openly supporting white supremacists. I'm not sure I'm comfortable interrupting a serious social media conversation with a post that's basically self-promotion with a side of zucchini, you know? I haven't quite cracked the 'political recipe-writing' formula either. "Salad for when your Senators are shit?" "Five things to eat while lying on the floor in despair over healthcare?" "Easy-traveling sheet cake, so you can eat it while still showing up to the goddamned protest?" 

That last one has promise, actually. Too bad I don't like cake.

In addition, a staggering percentage of my diet has been tomato+olive oil+salt. Sometimes I add some cheese. Sometimes I don't even make it indoors- I just eat the tomato like I would a peach. Oh! Also there are peaches, which are so ripe I eat them over the sink.

If it helps, my ducks are judging me too. Look at that side eye. Hey, duck ducks, you don't get to judge me- you're terrible at eating and are somehow ALWAYS dirty. YOU HAVE A POOL.

Duck ducks would like to point out that they live in a dirt pit and that their hygiene does not excuse me from cooking actual meals. Also, they would like some tomatoes please.
Your Weekly Waterfowl (8!)
Hello! I've been delinquent on the duck front. I've been delinquent on the everything front. Also, when I take closeup photos of my ducks (or when my farmwife does and I pilfer them) it kind of looks like they are living in squalor. 

I SWEAR we bathe them- but I'm pretty sure they're afraid of water. We have desert ducks.
You Daily Duck (4!)

I did something dumb and careless (I got in a car accident- nobody is physically hurt) and I was feeling really shitty about myself, so the farmwife sent me this picture: 

Your Daily Duck (2!)

My beloved dutch oven, a 20th birthday gift from my Aunts, developed a big circular chip in the enamel last week. Lodge offers limited lifetime warranties, so they're replacing it, but I still couldn't bear the thought of getting rid of something that had 

So yep, I gave it to the ducks. Serendipitously, we were looking for a container that was too heavy for them to knock over- for some reason our 'plastic clam-shell full of rocks' idea wasn't sustainable. I'm still pretty sad that my dutch oven is dead... but at least it's being used for cute purposes.
Your Daily Duck
Welcome to your Daily Duck! Full disclosure: there is a 105% chance I will become lazy and this will turn into your Weekly Waterfowl. Regardless, it's a series and there will be photos and videos of ducks.

In the words of my farmwife: have you ever wondered what it would be like to eat raw zucchini without hands if your mouth was just two spoons? Wonder no more.
This just in: baby ducks continue to be adorable

Also poopy... so very poopy. I think this is because they're growing at an extraordinary pace. These photos were taken, like, a week after the last ones. A week!!

This was the ducks' first day outside, and they were definitely a little confused.

Left duck is also a little concerned about the camera.

They don't have names yet, because if any turn out to be male we'll have to kill them; male ducks will literally rape chickens to death (seriously, raising animals is brutal) and I don't want to get any more attached than I already am. That  ship may have sailed already though... just look at them foraging!


And lastly, here is one of the ducks sitting on top of my neighbor/activism boss/friend (partner in duck and town-hall related crime? Farm wife? Our relationship is platonic and multi-layered. I'm taking terminology suggestions).

Just to be clear, the duck climbed up there all by herself. Farmwife is holding onto her because baby ducks will throw themselves off stuff and injure themselves. One of them dive-bombed off my shoulder the other day, and when it hit the ground I was pretty convinced it was going to die (it did not).

 Anyways... ducks! Ducks ducks ducks!